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Romance

Romance

Poetry Corner: Still Love Me

Published by communitypublishingabq@gmail.com on August 31, 2016 Respond

Still Love Me by Yvette Sandoval

Photo of a Wool Heart

 

 

Still Love
Still love me?

I ask with 
  anxious heart
Waiting for response 
  through frequencies of space

My wavering heart 
  encompasses shallow breath
When ego and mulishness
  wane from mind
Meekness and humility
  reside within

Still Love 
Still Love, me?

We do

When time stops 
  no-one recognizes
Space still expands
  and remains infinite
Just as love expands
  and remains infinite

Still Love,
  perseveres with resilience

Still Love, you
Signed,
  me...

*****
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Image of Yvette SandovalYvette Sandoval is originally from Bernalillo, New Mexico and currently lives in Albuquerque New Mexico. Yvette is a writer and Co-Founder and Partner of Community Publishing. At Community Publishing. Yvette’s specialty is graphic art and editing. Yvette has attended Central New Mexico Community College.

Community Publishing is committed to providing a digital platform for local artists of all mediums through the creation of multimedia eBooks, while promoting literacy in our community. Community Publishing uses a “ground up” approach which emphasizes an all-encompassing collaborative method.

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The Lost and Found: 70 Years to Give or Take

Published by communitypublishingabq@gmail.com on November 11, 2015 Respond

70 Years to Give or Take by Chessa Peak

About a year ago, I had one of the most interesting conversations of my entire life. I meet an elderly couple who were 89 and 90 years old. They had been together since they were 17 & 18 years old. They were out walking because they both exercise and enjoy being outdoors together. An eclectic old couple. The lady was wearing a tie dye and the man with a carved walking stick. I had to ask them,

“How long have you two been together?” and man said “About 70 years give or take dear.”. I proceeded to ask them more questions which they didn’t mind at all answering. Since I had my notebook handy I took some notes. “How have you managed to stay together so long without fighting?” I asked. The lady said, “We don’t fight. We argue but we are always considerate of what we say to one another and how we say it. We’ve had our ups and downs, even been separated for some time but our love always got the best of us.”.

Her husband then said, “We’ve learned together to have a willingness to work for each other and with each other. We learned the hard way but always tried to find ways to work together. Whether it was finances, children, or just living together. We learned to grow together and we 70 years lost and foundboth tried to find common ground. Sometimes that can be hard if you always want to see life your way but you can’t do that when you truly love someone. Sometimes you have to put down what you’re doing to make the relationship last. My problem was always work because I was good at what I did. I wish I’d given more time to my family when I should have.”.

With a still baffled look on my face the lady said to me, “We’re best friends, we never lie to each other and we respect each other. If I need something I can count on him and vice versa.” How incredibly blessed I am to have meet this couple. I thanked them for their time, got on my bike and rode home to post this.
*****
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Self Deception and self Actualization Chessa Peak has been in New Mexico since the age of 4 and is an honorary New Mexican. A bartender of over 10 years in the Duke City, musician, entrepreneur, and current student at CNM, Chessa is now currently working towards her own non-profit group that will support literacy, art and music programs for Albuquerque residents and her immediate community. Having come through a negative past, her writings deeply reflect the nature of her personal struggles in an attempt to help others overcome their personal battles.

Community Publishing brings local artists of all mediums together in creative collaborations for distribution as multimedia books while promoting literacy in our communities. #JoinOurCommunity at http://communitypublishing.org We are proud to be Marketers for the Rail Yards Market.

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The Lost and Found: Dear Ambivalent Man

Published by communitypublishingabq@gmail.com on August 25, 2015 2

Dear Ambivalent Man by Chessa Peak

Had you met me a few years ago I would have rode the emotional drag-strip till I burned the wheels off for you.

My heart would have found every excuse to make you mine, that you were the one and that all the pain would be worth it.

I would have pretended that all the excuse you would make were ok and that it didn’t hurt me.

I would have justified your disgraceful and disrespectful behavior to keep our fire burning.

I would have believed that my love would have been enough to inspire the change necessary to keep our relationship healthy.

Every grin and wink I would believe and they would have been enough and would have keep feeding me hope.

Our sex life would have been all the assurance I needed to rationalize the reasons my heart would hang on to love only real behind closed doors.

I would have never seen that your inconsistent behavior would break down my integrity and destroy my sanity and would never have seen how you make me feel unwelcome and blame it on me being crazy.

I would have found our story in the lyrics of every song and cried myself to sleep countless nights.

I would have destroyed my health and beauty for you.

But I’ve been there before, many times in fact. I’ve grown and I see your nature a mile away. I lived front row tickets to the shit show and I see clearly the danger you pose to my growth.

I see that your lack of empathy is not a result of me not trying, it’s about you not being accountable for your poor behavior and actions.

I see that your darkness is your responsibility to integrate into your person because you helped me see that in myself.

I see now that it is a choice we are all capable of making whether to live like we say we want to and I critically scrutinize your actions.

Your excuse making and blaming leave a putrid, acrid sting in the back of my jaw and I can’t help but cringe at your attempt to impress me.

The man who earns my affection will show me he worships my fire without making it a burden.

The man who I give my deepest intimacy to will not destroy my kitchen while making me a bad cup of tea which was given half-heartedly and demand the entitlements of his hard work because he believes he is the best chef on the planet.

The man who I find will not be intimidated by the fierce and beautiful power of my divine feminine. On the contrary, he will flourish in it and nurture it. He will not be afraid to find his strength in mine.

We both have a story and a road traveled that has brought us here but the fact is, the guy sitting at the bar next to you is being an asshole. You don’t care if his dog died, all you know is he’s an asshole.

I’m truly sorry that the pain of your journey still controls you and has left you who you are today.

If I didn’t accept my equal part in the equation I would have never recognized you off the bat. I’ve been forcing your kind to dance with me for far to long. I’ve graciously opened the door to my heart and allowed you to track your muddy boots prints all over it before.

I didn’t know what I was doing then. I didn’t know when I offered you the chance that I would pay with the depths of my being. The emotional longing to be with you still haunts me though I know I would never take that risk again.

I don’t regret who I was. I don’t regret taking the chance. I don’t regret letting you into my world. I’m glad I did and I wouldn’t change my past or who it caused me to be.

The pain you inflicted upon me taught me. The need to defend my sanity to your insanity forced me to see my own dysfunctions. You gave me the greatest gift of all. The strength of 10,000 armies to conquer the emotional torments of hell. Your unseen manipulation shattered me to pieces and caused me to rise. My heart and mind burn hotter and brighter than they ever have. You challenged me to learn from my mistakes. I am now the conduit to the heart of the universe. Thank you for hurting me.

Who you were in my life still aches in my bones but you helped me to remember who I am and what I need, what I want, and what I truly deserve.

So in parting I give you these words.

Dear Ambivalent ManI pray you learn from what you do to women and that you don’t do that to the next heart that gives blindly and unguarded to you. I pray you find the same sight I have. I pray you learn the meaning of the words integrity, honor, empathy, compassion, and respect. I pray that you fully understand and emulate what they mean into the core of your being. I pray you learn to give the way that I did. I pray you receive everything you deserve in this life.

Grateful & Sincerely,
The One Who Got Away

Inspiration

This was inspired by a reading I don’t know where that said to write a letter to those Dear Ambivalent Manwho have hurt you. I believe it was a textbook from a Central New Mexico Community College class. The title of my letter was Dear Ambivalent Man. I recently found another blog at www.elepahantjournal.com which reminded me of the letter I wrote. With the inspiration from Lisa Vallejos, PhD, I was able to complete my letter. I invite you to write your own letters and post them here on my blog. Please share if you need to. I pray for your healing and sight as well.

– Chessa Peak

*****
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Self Deception and self Actualization Chessa Peak has been in New Mexico since the age of 4 and is an honorary New Mexican. A bartender of over 10 years in the Duke City, musician, entrepreneur, and current student at CNM, Chessa is now currently working towards her own non-profit group that will support literacy, art and music programs for Albuquerque residents and her immediate community. Having come through a negative past, her writings deeply reflect the nature of her personal struggles in an attempt to help others overcome their personal battles.

Community Publishing brings local artists of all mediums together in creative collaborations for distribution as multimedia books while promoting literacy in our communities. #JoinOurCommunity at http://communitypublishing.org We are proud to be Marketers for the Rail Yards Market.

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Guest Poet: Afrodite

Published by communitypublishingabq@gmail.com on March 26, 2015 Respond

By hakim bellamy

Just beyond the shoreline
of cheek lies a body
of water.
Nothing against the brackish blue
of beach and baywatch.
Nothing against the shallow
and swallow of water,
clear as spit.
But you are different.
Your eyes, dark.
Your oceans, deep
like the person pooling inside you. Black
as a body at the bottom
of the Atlantic.
And when you lie on your back
balancing my nose atop yours,
our lips pointing at each other
like a reflection,
I can make out ancestors
desperately trying to stay afloat
in the abyss of your gaze.
They are still
as beautiful as the mutiny
that landed them overboard.
As beautiful as the flesh
colored torpedo
that sometimes sunk
the shipping and handling
of chattel, in half.
As beautiful as
the pair of wings you ingested
and blossomed into gills.
The flood in your voice.
The oceanspray still on your breath
The saltbeds just beneath the shoreline
of your cheek.
Your beauty does not evaporate,
it never drowns.
So much so,
those jealous of your beauty
try to bottle it.
So Precious
they will sell you by the ounce.
Swap pedestals for auction blocks
to remind you the consequences
of your audacity.
How dare you
rival the flawless fascade
of Adonis?
Survival is beautiful.
Just like you.
The spoils of natural selection
and its amazing that you still
have your figure,
that black still don’t crack
after all these years of trying to
eliminate the object
of their aphrodisia.
And people would have you
consider yourself fortunate that
genocide hasn’t left a mark.
Your beauty has become that
of myth and make-up.
Their firehose fetish tried
and failed to segregate beauty
from your Brownstone face.
Different
is what makes beautiful,
beautiful.
At least noteworthy.
Unlike anything else
and you
are different.

(c) Hakim Bellamy February 12th, 2015
*a self-love poem for Black History Month, about a Black person.

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Hakim Bellamy

Hakim Bellamy

Hakim Bellamy is Albuquerque’s Inaugural Poet Laureate, and counts, educator, musician and community organizer among his many ventures. Hakim’s multimedia Children’s book, Samuel’s Story is scheduled for release by Community Publishing in the Spring, 2015. Image courtesy of Joy Godfrey
Community Publishing brings local artists of all mediums together in creative collaborations for distribution as multimedia eBooks while promoting literacy in our communities.

We are proud to be a community partner and digital marketer at the Rail Yards Market.#JoinOurCommunity at http://communitypublishing.org

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