Reincarnation by Pan Bourcier-Hidalgo
That tightness in the chest, it grows into heaves and sometimes leaks out of the eyes in seeping, cracking sobs. Although we would like to believe that we are alone in feeling this anxiety, this panic- we are not. This is an intimate feeling to me, necessary to my unfolding over the years. Last year I cracked and came oozing out all over everything and everyone. Overstimulated by lights, sounds, feelings, existence itself, I know this very intimately. Indeed the intimacy of myself and the suffering that it takes to holistically experience what it means to be in a body and live in any place in time and space. How valuable this feeling has been to me and how gracefully it has left my body. Like poison drained from a seeping wound it has flowed up and out and taken me higher with it.
Being in a specific time in a specific space, I have found I am always in the right place at the right time. Driving in my car to New Orleans, the tightness in my chest felt crushing like a demon that has sat on my chest since I was a child. Overwhelming me once again, however, this time I knew that my feelings only had the 
weight that I gave them. I breathed through it, while the clangs of tUnE-yArDs and the crash of lightning in the grey set the tone for a very dramatic road trip. This was my first visit to New Orleans. It felt exciting and heavy; maybe the heaviness had something to do with the humidity? No, it’s not just that, it is a place of density, a place of magic and a place where you can create and recreate yourself over and over. You can weave yourself into a delicate tapestry and unravel it around you for others to see, or maybe just for your own personal enjoyment.
I decided this was the place for me to invoke my spirit, for my melodic soul to sing. I realize now that not only am I of earth, but that I am a vessel for deep vibration to come through, transform and heal. I play, I dance, I sing and somewhere along the way I make friends and share it with them. I treasure you all no matter how short, or how long of a time I will know you. Thank you for your spirit, thank you for the creation that is you. Many adventures to be had, come knock on my door in NOLA and let us play in Pan’s Labyrinth.
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Pan Bourcier Hidalgo is a Dancer who is originally from Albuquerque, New Mexico. She has relocated and embarked on a journey of discovery in New Orleans, Louisiana. Join her as she learns about her new city and herself in Pan’s Labyrinth!
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