Aversion and Attachment by Chris Brennan
When I think about writing about my own journey to inner peace, the first thing that comes to mind is how imperfect it is. Although I have dedicated years to meditation and spiritual education, I still find myself committing errors that many beginners make. It’s interesting how just one lapse of judgment can erase months or years of diligent effort. I also find it difficult to be concise with my friends and family about the journey in a way that is helpful yet not overwhelming or judgmental. With that said, I have found other people’s journeys along the way to be some of the most helpful teachers for me, and hope that in sharing parts of my own someone can take one or two things away from my successes and mistakes. With that said, I have been thinking a lot in 2021 about two of the most difficult barriers to overcome on the journey to a more peaceful, calm mind: Aversion and Attachment.
Find out more about Chris and his previous articles here…
If you pick up any basic Buddhist text, it is very likely that you will encounter at least one chapter on these themes. Like many Buddhist concepts, they are opposites. They are also known as two of the main sources of human suffering. As we go through life on a daily, monthly, or yearly basis, we are bombarded by people and experiences to which we feel averse or attached. In other words, we want the positive people or pleasure in our lives to continue, and the painful or hurtful experiences or people to stop. In my own life, I have many attachments to people and experiences, and am averse to others. For example, I am attached to my family, my bandmates, my exercise routine, and my love of sharp cheddar cheese. I am generally averse to metal music, large crowds (especially right now), and tomatoes in any form. I enjoy every sip of a dry light white wine like Pinot Grigio, yet scowl upon seeing someone enjoy a bottle of sweet Chardonnay or Moscato. These are all sensory experiences that make us attached and averse. In the age of social media, we see someone’s profile and say “They’re hot!” or “Definitely not my type” often without getting to know anything about them.
The reasons that attachment and aversion are barriers to finding inner peace are simple. They prevent us from seeing things as they truly are. We over value things we are attached to, and often dismiss things or people to which we are averse. We say things like, “But she’s a Republican…I would never date her”, or “I have to have sugar in my coffee”. These habits we form mentally provide us with an itemized list of the people, places, and things in our lives that are either good or bad, woke or ignorant, hot or not, fun or boring. The funny thing about all of this is that these people and things in our life are not innately beautiful or ugly, they just are. It is our own minds and experiences who place judgment and value on things outside of ourselves. By judging things and people this way, we cannot see clearly the world as it is. A dog is not a good dog or a bad dog or an ugly or cute dog, they are just a dog. A human is not literally a Democrat or a Republican, they are a human.
So without getting too much into the woods, I challenge you to take note of the things or people that you are attached or averse to in your life. Explore why you like or dislike them, and where that attachment or aversion comes from. Why does this person or food make you feel warm and happy, while another fills you with disgust? The less attached and averse we are to everything in the outside world, the more clearly we are able to see things as they are, and this allows us to be more free no matter where we are or whom we are with.
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